To submit or not to submit...

First of all, welcome to my blog! I finally started one after reading everyone elses and being envious of their pithy comments. My comments may not always be so witty but not for a lack of trying.

Anyway, back to the reason for said blog. For years I have haphazardly been trying to become a published romance author. I wrote my first attempt at romance in 2002 so that tells you how long I haven't been serious. Well, I wouldn't say serious just distracted. I never really totally committed and said "I mean it. I will be published this year." I've said "I'll be published this year" but never with the "I mean it" behind it. Well, now I am. For the record, so anyone can throw this back at me in case I'm wasting time come October and I'm still not published, "I will be published this year. I mean it!" I feel better! Now, if I just remember that I'll be in good shape.

So the question is if I am really meaning it this time why am I questioning submitting my work? Would I want to see people buy my stories and enjoy them? Well, I'm not sure if this particular story is what I want to be known for. I like it and I am entertained when I read it while editing, which is a good thing, right, so why don't I want to send it? I think part of the problem is I have to let myself start out small and I'm not. I've had a misconception that the only way to be an author is write for one of the "big kid" publishing houses. I know that's not true but my brain likes to fool me into thinking so. I would be submitting to an e-book publisher, which are becoming all the rage and are gaining quite an audience. I personally still like the feel of a paperback in my hands but I might convert one day, you never know. My CP, Emily,(for you non-writing folk that's critique partner. I don't think she would appreciate it if I called her a critter so CP sounds better.)has published with the house I'm thinking of submitting to as well as another friend of mine so I know it's a reliable source.

So what's holding me up? I wish I knew. I have the five year writing plan and my goals written down and tons of hunky heroes itching to be on paper so what's keeping me from planting my butt in my chair submitting this story and writing more? It could all come down to fear or procrastination. Either one is quite probable.

An Elenor Roosevelt quote came to mind. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I think I'll feel inferior to other writers because I'm not playing with the big leaguers. Please don't take offense to that those of you who do work for smaller presses. It's just my mind trying to fool me again. I shouldn't let others make me feel inferior or less of a writer because I take interest in smaller presses. Getting my feet wet in the smaller one could mean diving into the larger ones later on. Either way, big press or small press, I will be published and that is the intital goal.

I think I answered my own question...